There are many friends that I have that have gone through their shit, but when it comes to similar paths in life, Jake and I have always been aligned. We’re two people with a desire to help others. We understand the struggle that comes with mental health, and we value the importance of experience and growth. Yes, Jake and I have had some parallel events in our lives––I feel like it’s what makes us childhood friends. It bonds us in a way that others wouldn’t understand. Jake is my counterpart.
Our story begins when we were about 10 years old, riding the school bus together. We always had the same bus throughout our entire tenure in grade school because we lived so close to each other. We experienced the norms in grade school––drinking and parties aplenty. We bonded over the stupid, superficial nonsense that kids tend to do. It wouldn’t be until our college days that shit would hit the fan for us.
During college, Jake was seeing a girl. They had a wonderful relationship, but unfortunately, things went south. Because I was a selfish teenager and didn’t know any better at the time, I went after her almost immediately after the breakup. It was a betrayal of trust and of our friendship. I want to clarify I ended it before anything happened. I was clearly a prick, but I saw the writing on the wall. It didn’t matter––the damage was done. It’s not that we had a friendship breakup but I hurt him. I made a mistake. But Jake being the bigger man eventually, Jake forgave me. A true brother, he let bygones be bygones, and we moved on from it. We wouldn’t talk about it for years until we went to a Blink-182 concert together. This would be the first (and the last…) time I would drop acid, but more importantly, after years of waiting, a conversation was had. I apologized wholeheartedly. It’s a hard lesson growing up, but don’t let people come in between your true friends. They’re hard to come by. Nothing is worth a lay compared to a lifetime friendship.
Jake and I both have mental health conditions. I’m bipolar––he has MDD. We’ve had our fair share of mental anguish over the years, dealing with mania and the struggles that come with mental health conditions. But one of the key parallels is how much of a deep end we fell into when we got our hearts broken. Jake and I feel deeply. We’re emotional creatures, and we love hard, so the times we experienced hurt, we hit rock bottom. Throw some manic energy in there and it’s bad news for all. But we do our best to pick each other up. I remember one of Jake’s most recent breakups––I would text him mental health check-ins. We didn’t need a full-fledged conversation––I just needed to know he was okay. These little bonding moments go a long way. They bring us closer together while reminding each other we are loved.
Jake, we’ve been through a lot together. Although we don’t hang out nearly as much as we used to, we have a bond much different than a lot of other friends. We understand the true pain of loss, the real sensation of mental illness consumed by heartbreak, and the unparalleled feeling of considering your friends your family. But Jake, you showed me something about friendship that was truly eye-opening: that real friends will never judge you, be angry toward you when you screw up, and most importantly, always forgive you because of one simple fact: they love you.